How to Teach Your Child Their Full Name and Your Phone Number

When a lost child finds a helper, the helper asks two things: "What's your name?" and "How can I reach your mom or dad?" A 4 year old who can answer both is usually back with you in minutes. One who can only say "Tommy" and "Mommy" is not, because the store has four Tommys and every woman in it is somebody's mommy.

So this is worth a few weeks of practice. Chapter 6 of the PreSafe workbook, Lost? Look, has the child fill in "My name is, my parents' names are, their phone number is" on every page, because saying it out loud to a stranger is the whole point of the chapter.

Here's how to teach it.

Their full name first

Most 3 year olds know their first name and not their last. Start there. Use their full name in ordinary moments: at the door, at bedtime, when you're proud of them. "Good job, Tommy Reyes." They'll start saying it back.

Then ask the question the way a helper would: "What's your name?" and wait for both parts. When they give you both, you're done with step one.

Your name, not "Mommy"

This is the one parents skip. Your child has to know your first and last name, because "Mommy" doesn't help anyone page you over a loudspeaker.

Tell them: "My name is Judy Reyes. When someone asks who your mom is, you say Judy Reyes." Practice it as a question and answer. The workbook has a page that asks "What is your Mom's name? What is your Dad's name?" right next to "My name is." Fill it in together.

The phone number, three digits at a time

Ten digits is a lot for a 4 year old. Don't try it all at once.

• Week one: the first three. Say them in a rhythm, like a rhyme, and clap on each.
• Week two: the next three, added on.
• Week three: the last four.
• Week four: the whole thing, in the same rhythm, every day.

Say it at the same time each day so it becomes part of the routine. In the car. At breakfast. Kids at this age learn a number the way they learn a rhyme, by hearing it the same way many times.

Once they can say it, test it the hard way: hand them your phone with the keypad open and ask them to dial it. The digits they know in their head and the buttons they press are two different skills.

Put it on a card until they have it

While they're learning, write their name, your name and your number on a card and put it in their pocket or shoe when you go somewhere crowded. Tell them it's there. A child who knows the card exists will hand it to a helper.

The workbook's Lost? Look pages run through this exact conversation: "Are you lost?" "Yes. My name is. My parents' names are. Their phone number is." Practice it as a script, with you playing the helper.

Who to say it to

Knowing the number is half of it. The other half is choosing the right person to tell. Chapter 6 teaches the child to stop, stay put, and look for a safe helper: a mom with a stroller, a family with kids, a person in a uniform like a lifeguard or a store worker. The workbook has three scenes, a street, a park and a beach, where the child circles the safe people and traces a path to them.

One tip: test it somewhere real. At the grocery store, ask "If you couldn't see me right now, what would you say?" and let them run the whole script. Their name, your name, your number. Then say "good, and who would you say it to?"

What to do next

Chapter 6 of the PreSafe workbook has the name and number fill-in pages, the "Are you lost?" script and the safe-helper scenes to print. The Lost? Look rhyme and the short chapter video are free in the Learning Center.